Understanding Women.

Chemistry of women
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

Woman--Chemical Analysis

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO+
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MAKE: Accepted as 110 lb. but known to vary from 45 to
220 kg
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to
common ore
6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for
no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
saturation with alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation

TASTE:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural
state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one at the same time